I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
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He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
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My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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