he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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