Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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