he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
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we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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