you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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