we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize