I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
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You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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