I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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