Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize