We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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