I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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