cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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