How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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