Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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