I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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