i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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