She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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