I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize