just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize