Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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