Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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