I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize