I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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