He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
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I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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