I met the friendliest cop last night
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize