When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
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Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
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Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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