Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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