I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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