I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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