I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize