You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize