Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
where am i from again
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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