i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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