Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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