Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
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She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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