did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
why is half of my head shaved?
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