its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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