I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i wish my penis had a tongue
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize