I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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