dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize