no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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