I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize