the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize