Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize