Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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