I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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