I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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