What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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