Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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