saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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